His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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