Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
