So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
