Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
