there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
