hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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