So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
