I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
