Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
