You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
