she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im holly from the hills drunk
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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