the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
