my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
