Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
