walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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