My sheets look like a crime scene.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
