yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
