I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
