please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
