u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
