Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
