puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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