as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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