He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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