i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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