Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
