their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
