don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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