Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When are your genitals available?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
