i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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