Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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