I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
