I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
