Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
