we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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