The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
