is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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