your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
