Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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