I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
