I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
