Betty ford says i'm here all night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
