She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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