So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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