i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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