I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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