so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
