Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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