I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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