you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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