you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
not ubering you a puppy
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
