finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
pop tarts are not kleenex
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
